12 Steps of Grieving

1. We admit we are powerless over our grief, and that our lives can become unmanageable. (If we decide that we are doing it wrong or don't give ourselves permission to do it our own way.)


2.  We come to believe that we can be restored to emotional balance and spiritual peace. (Possibly to be more whole than before our loss.)


3.  We make a decision to turn each day over to the loving guidance of a Higher Power, by giving ouselves permission to be alive on a daily basis.


4.  We take a fearless inventory of our assets and liabilities, especially as they relate to our relationship with the person who has died.


5.  We admit to a Higher Power, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.


6.  We allow for the process of change in our lives with humility and grace.  We continue to reach out to others and to a Higher Power.


7.  We pray for the obstacles to our healing, like survivor guilt, self-hatred, shame and envy of others, to be lifted from us.


8.  We make a list of regrets and the obstacles to our peace of mind that still linger.


9.  We make amends for the harms we have done by changing negative behavior patterns, by valuing the people who are still with us, and by practicing gratitude for our own life every day.


10.  We take inventory of our progress on a daily basis.


11.  We seek contact with Spirit and trust the guidance we recieve.


12.  We make an effort to help others in their loss and practice these principles in all our affairs.

"Dr. Powers offers hope and healing, a way in and a way out. She takes the reader by the hand and leads them through their own darkness and back into  the light."


 - Tian Dayton, Ph.D. 

Director, New York Psychodrama Training Institute and

author of Emotional Sobriety

Ruthless Grieving

The Journey to Acceptance & Beyond


by Susan Powers, Ph.D.

    Dr. Powers suggests forming grief groups using these steps as their guide.



Ruthless Grieving



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