How to Get to the Other Side of Loss

Dr. Powers offers a roadmap for finding your own way through your darkest hours. Her book is filled with emotional wisdom and practical suggestions to deal with...

 

  • initial "shock and awe"

  • feeling lost and angry

  • Obsessng about the person who died

  • dealing with survivor guilt

  • making the journey to acceptance of this loss

  • reinvesting in life without them

 

Also included is support for grieving oa death from addiction or suicide.  As well as a chapter devoted to helping others grieve ruthlessly.

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Begin reading Chapter 12 now...

From the day I heard that my daughter Chris had died of an overdose, I had the very strong desire to make sure her death helped others. What I didn’t know was how much my efforts to have her death help other people would help me.  

Grief can be transformative. This book is an emotional map, a guide for how to show up for the transformation and not get stuck in any of the boggy and rigid places.

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 About the book... 

The first section is about the immediate reactions to loss.  I describe it as a strange combination of Shock and Awe, and a predominant experience of feeling lost.  This section has a lot of permissions for however one feels in early grief (the need for permission continues throughout the process).  The section also introduces tools for dealing with Survivor Guilt.  There is a chapter on Warnings – not to isolate, medicate or compare.  Ruthless Grieving is about letting yourself find your own creative and unique ways to grieve loss – no matter what.

 

The second section describes the deepest part of the emotional work of grieving.

It follows the stages of grieving, about anger, bargaining (obsession) and sadness and depression, but with an expanded awareness of their limitations and rich descriptions of the process personally.  There is a chapter on the way roles in grieving affect the process and the differences of grieving people who had different roles in our lives. There is a specific chapter on the  issues and challenges of how to grieve loved ones who have died from addiction or suicide. The ruthless aspect of grief is never more apparent.

 

The third section focuses on acceptance of loss and how to get there.  Many spiritual tools are described for this journey.  Going on without them and the deepest permission to be alive are clarified.  The last chapter is about how to help people when they are grieving.

 

Ruthless Grieving

The Journey to Acceptance & Beyond

 

by Susan Powers, Ph.D.

RUTHLESS GRIEVING

by Susan Powers, Ph.D.

"Dr. Powers offers hope and healing, a way in and a way out. She takes the reader by the hand and leads them through their own darkness and back into  the light."

 

 - Tian Dayton, Ph.D. 

Director, New York Psychodrama Training Institute and

author of Emotional Sobriety

WHAT RUTHLESS GRIEVING IS NOT

 

Ruthless Grieving is not judging anyone for how they deal with loss.  Everyone grieves differently and in their own way.  It is allowing for that in the people around you and with yourself.

 

Ruthless Grieving is not purposely hurting anyone for any reason.  It is taking careful care of yourself when you are at a loss.   Other people may not like some of those actions, like going back to work right away or taking a trip or taking to bed for a while, but you do them anyway.

 

Ruthless Grieving is not cruel or dark.  It is the extreme of self care and permissive to yourself.

 

Ruthless Grieving is not caretaking others to the extreme, so that your needs don’t get met.  It is meeting your needs no matter what.

 

Ruthless Grieving is not diving into drugs or alcohol or isolation.  It is facing up to the pain and going through it.

 

Ruthless Grieving is not avoiding the journey of grief, but staying with it as much as you can.

 

Ruthless Grieving is not having a negative attitude.  It is positive and proactive.  It is not self pitying, but knowing that you are heading toward something better and that shit happens.

 

Ruthless Grieving is not taking actions by rote or according to strict tradition.  It is being creative and intuitive and doing things the way you feel guided to do them whether it's a funeral or memorial service.

 

    "a touchingly honest memoir of loss and recovery."

© 2015 Susan Powers, Ph.D.  --  design by Web Tara